Life is funny that way

Well it's been quite a while and though I know only a few have read my musings I feel the need to push on now more than ever.
Life in Vixxenville has been crazy. I somehow stumbled upon the absolute love of my life. I moved across the country and left everything and everyone behind.
Starting over somewhere new is so very difficult. I am now seeing the damage done to my children over the past decade spilling out like a pot boiled over. Anger, resentment and pain in their once sweet innocent faces brings to my proverbial knees as a mother.
I feel like I failed them... worst feeling ever! I know I have to pick them up and dust them off, but kissing these booboos doesn't make them all better.
I'm also trying to patch myself in this process and I feel selfish. I realize I need to do this but it feels shitty to want time for me when I'm needed by others that are helpless. Hopefully it will all work itself out.
I needed to get that off of my chest. 
I will try to post more often now that my life is getting back on track.

Until next time vixxens XOXO

Life goes on ....

A lot has happened since I last posted. Its the worst thing ever to admit that you failed at your marriage. It's another to be in the situation where you're a mother with out one of your children. I never thought I'd be a free woman. Free of abuse and neglect. Free of all the negativity that engulfed my daily existence.

I can say I was depressed. I can say I was a puddle of a person where a woman once stood. I can say now that I am starting to live my life again. This is one of the most trying times in my entire life. That I wake up sometimes and say "I can't believe I made it through... And although I'm not through to the other side yet that I'm well on my way."

Removing toxic people from my life was key to my sanity. They seldom leave quietly and it's painful. Old habits are difficult to break. To say to someone that they are no longer welcome when you have been too nice for too long is difficult at best. But I love myself enough now to handle it.

I have found the most incredible, supportive, loving, decent man in the world. I honestly didn't think he existed for me. It's truly amazing how one person can change everything with a smile and a few loving words. I feel completely blessed and loved by the people I've now surrounded myself with.

More to come my vixxens... Stay tuned, my mojo is brewing again.